CollaboIndustries Podcast #4 - Soundscape

For two weeks in May 2014 Jenelle and Virginia made a conscious effort to capture the beautiful noise of life. The resulting sound collage is a meditation on our everyday experiences with sound. Listen here.

Podcast 3 - Sound Philosophy

Here we are creating but not sharing, tsk tsk indeed

This is a new-ish venture with my #CollaboIndustries partner and wellness supervisor @jenelleleighc

Find out all about her on here

Sharing

I remember the day I learned what sharing meant.  My friend from school, Frankie, came to my house to play.  He lived up the block from me. I was in first grade and Frankie was in second.

Having an older sister eight years older than me, I never really had to share my things with her. She wouldn't want them anyway.  I did share at school all the time, the things eligible for sharing were usually not my own personal property though. So when Frankie started playing with my Speak & Spell while I played with my Cabbage Patch Kid, my head exploded with jealousy. Like I'd never see that Speak & Spell in my own hands ever again, that if I didn't defend myself I'd never have the joy of hearing that cyborg voice repeating words I typed back to me.

In my blind rage, all I could see was my thing in someone else's hands. For no other reason than the fact that it was mine, Frankie was not welcome to play with the red plastic talking keyboard and screen. "You can't play with that," I said.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because I want to play with it." And I genuinely did want to play with the Speak & Spell at that exact moment with his fingers clamped on to it.

Off in the distance from what felt like a different dimension, I heard my sister say "He can play with that while you play with Cole Cliff." It felt like the voice could have been coming directly from the Cabbage Patch itself. If we were on Sesame Street, the word "sharing" would have appeared beneath us.

I had a very self-aware moment where I realized that sharing is being willing to let someone else be in charge of something that I care about. Then I had a melt down. Tears feel inevitable in the corners of that memory. But overall the lesson was real and I took it to heart.

About three years later, Frankie and his family moved to another neighborhood. Coincidentally another neighbor kid, Simon, moved in and we started hanging out. We became big fans of X-Men cards that we traded and compared notes about. I had at least fifty at one point.

One day in fifth grade, an anonymous source tipped me off that Simon stole my X-Men cards from my coat pocket. A fist full of cards double wrapped by a rubber band, gone. I felt betrayed. My pride was hurt. I am willing to share but friends do not take from one another like that.  Wounded and proud I knew exactly how to deal with these feelings as a ten year old.

I never talked to him again. Never explained myself to him, my mom, or his mom…just stopped talking to him, looking at him or anything to do with him really.  It was awkward in tenth grade when we were in SAT Prep class together. I couldn't imagine that conversation.

"Hey Simon, yeah I stopped talking to you because I heard that you stole my x-men cards in fifth grade from the coat closet. Did you?"

Awkward.

I ignored him instead. I don't know what lesson I'm supposed to have learned from the Simon story. But it felt like sharing in a sense too.

Sunday in the Quarter

I'm sitting behind St Louis Cathedral, probably one of the USA's oldest churches (but not verified). The clock is showing 11:17 and the morning bells calling parishioners to Sunday services ended a few minutes ago. Two nuns in full habits walked by moments ago, probably rushing to answer the church's call. The back side of the church is gated with wrought iron, protecting the sanctity of the garden sanctuary that Jesus' statue blesses for the people of New Orleans. Outside the fence, artists hang their creations to sell to passersby exploring Pirate's Alley, Royal St, and the French Quarter on their way to peeping a glance of the Mighty Mississippi and the chance to feel connected to the major surface water source of North America.

Wafting through the stucco and plaster walled streets are the swirls of clarinets, horns and snare drums with occasional violin and banjo interludes to capture the imagination of anyone looking to glamorize the life of street performers. The road or better yet the sidewalk in front of me is cobbled together with large pieces of slate held together with mortar and bisected by a drainage trough that proves tricky to navigate for all captivated by the archaic homage to French and Spanish Colonial architecture around them. The skies are a crystal blue and the sunshine blanket on the buildings around Pirate's Alley punctuates the color contrasts so associated with life in New Orleans.  

Letter to my 4 year old self about "Playing"

Dear 4 year old me,
   
    I'm going to describe to you what playing means to us throughout every phase of our growth until this very day.  Because I never heard it then, let me just tell you how cute and adoring you are. You'd be a prideful lil girl to know how fun you're going to turn out to be :)
   
    As a four year playing is like fluttering around from flower to flower touching all limits of imaginary realms. There's an absent-minded side of it where imagination completely overwhelms attachment to linear reality. "Where do you go when you do that?" you'll later be asked…
   
    As a nine year old playing feels like competing and running an playing defense and making touchdown catches and 3 point baskets and balls, Balls, BALLS!! But as a fourteen year old, I play lots of sports though I'm not really playing at those.  Playing feels like laying in bed with my headphones, listening to Hot 97 radio. Hearing hip hop through head phones late at night is going to be your favorite thing ever. You'll also learn a lot about sex from the radio around this time too and thank goodness Dr. Judy talked to you about sex because mommy isn't really going to talk to you about relationships or mechanics or logistics.
   
    When you're nineteen playing is going to be learning to love beaches for the first time in Australia. Its also going to be secretly making out with another girl (I know! I freaked out too, its ok though and is actually pretty obvious to a lot of your life long friends. Surprise!) It will also be driving through London with the first boy you'll be in love with. You'll actually see Pink Floyd's Factory - you'll know exactly what I mean by then too. This is an important one because it stays with you - playing will mean learning how to laugh at your "failures" because they aren't really "failures" you're just really "hard" "on" "yourself."
   
    By the time you're twenty three playing is like a mash up of all the best parts from before…with beach time too! You'll be playing lots of basketball, adventuring through South Dakota, laughing endlessly with roommates/future life mates - that's right, we're a clan! Playing is going to be making up games in an old convent in rural South Dakota while horses occasionally graze on the ridge outside your dining room window. Playing will be discussing colonization and land rights and human rights and philosophical decency until there are no more thoughts to be thought in those brain fractals and this will become the essence of your ability to synthesize experience and context. You'll also spend a month playing in Central America, it won't always feel like playing but please believe it most certainly is and you get some good angels guiding your journey with prevalent frequency.
   
    Playing at twenty seven involves a lot of glitter, make-up, and playing dress-up.  Oh yeah, I know. We're into dressing up now but trust me, come on out your imagination girl and throw on some costumes to jazz it up out here too! You'll relive being in marching band playing your trumpet and you'll dance in multiple streets, not just "the streets" but literally lots of streets…you'll dance in lots of streets. I know! It is as fun as it sounds and its that much more fun because everyone else is dancing in the streets also. So playing is really rad at 27. Playing is also throwing house parties and having lots of interesting people circulating through our party spaces.
   
    As you get to be thirty two, playing involves bicycles - riding them, fixing them, making up fairy stories about them, you know... all the things we love doing with our brain! We love camping and being under the stars and can see mommy again. She's there, we both had trouble seeing each other for a while and we both played our parts in making that true. But it all happens in the order it is going to happen to go in. :)
   
    Playing now includes board games. Nothing close to the vast realms that Candyland and Chutes & Ladders brought us to, but epic for sure! Playing definitely feels different, I think our self-awareness fills its way out over the years of experience and context.  But playing also doesn't feel all that different because it makes me giggle and lose my breath laughing and joy sure feels like its a whole lot similar to how it felt then.
   
    So there's that. I'm proud of all the fractals you've yet to see and happy for the ones you won't see. :)
   
Sincerely,
Me


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What would you write your 4 year old self about playing?

Coaching Session 1

Working with the artist and healer Jenelle Leigh Campion, I facilitated my first life coaching session last week. Over a two hour period, we articulated realistic yet challenging goals to grow her current business model. The session focused on identifying barriers that inhibit her business' growth, visualizing how her time is distributed among tasks, framing her vision for how her business will grow, and creating goals to overcome identified barriers in support of her vision. As a result we developed several achievable goals, milestones, and deadlines that will propel her into the next phases of her art and healing businesses. We also created a series of affirmations that will reinforce her intentions to meet these goals.

Emphasizing compassion I reminded Jenelle that the goals we created are self-imposed and can be adjusted if necessary, though I will follow up on the established milestones to evaluate her progress in meeting her goals. I find that part of the difficulty in setting goals is staying motivated to move through discouraging obstacles and staying focused to achieve the goals. The affirmations we created are touchstones to maintain her intention of meeting these goals and supporting the gains from this phase of growth.

I developed this framework from a variety of facilitated workshops that I've participated in as well as my experience in mind mapping, intention setting, and elements of the SMART goals paradigm. My influences are many and varied including Starhawk, Dr. Bill Rushbrooke, and several other non-profit management coaches. As a means to support other small business owners and anyone looking to set goals for themselves, please see below for the activities that I guided Jenelle through in her coaching session.

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Light it Up – Coaching with Virginia

*Supplies: 6 large pieces of paper (11x18 or larger); markers; masking tape

1. Using one of the large pieces of paper, write down all words/phrases that can describe barriers to your growth. Specifically, what are all the present impediments to growth you consistently face? Take about 5-7 minutes on this, color code if that is helpful, and tape the sheet of paper to the wall. (Sheet 1)
2. Using a separate piece of paper, write down words/phrases that describe your current projects. Take about 5-7 minutes on this, color code if that is helpful, and tape the sheet of paper to the wall. (Sheet 2)
3. Using another sheet of paper, write down the various tasks that you have to pay attention to in order for your business to function, i.e. logistics, creative, financial, etc. Take about 5-7 minutes on this, color code if that is helpful, and tape the sheet of paper to the wall. (Sheet 3)
4. Using a fourth sheet of paper, write down descriptions of your vision of this next phase of growth. Specifically, identify tangible and intangible feelings to be realized by meeting your goals. Take about 5-7 minutes on this, color code if that is helpful. (Sheet 4)

5. Now that you've identified where you are in terms of your current situation, take a look at your page four of feelings and find your 'strengths of business and self.' Are any of these descriptions currently being realized in some form? Circle all the descriptions of feelings that you can claim and then tape that sheet of paper to the wall.
6. Pull down sheets 2 & 3 from the wall. Identify categories and themes from the task list of page 3. On another blank piece of paper, make a pie chart of how you devote your energy and time using these themes. (Sheet 5)
7. Organize the descriptors of your projects from sheet 2 within each appropriate section of the pie chart.
   1. Are there areas of the pie chart that you could devote more time/energy to actualize your visions for growth?
8. Tape pie chart (Sheet 5) to the wall and take down sheet 1. Choose 3 barriers.
   1. Barrier 1 – Least challenging to overcome
   2. Barrier 2 – Moderately challenging
   3. Barrier 3 – Most challenging to overcome
9. Leveraging the strengths that we have previously identified as well as the realistic structure of balancing your work days shown in the pie chart, create achievable goals for moving through each barrier while also pushing you to the next level
   1. Determine clear and specific goals to address these barriers that you can keep track of by setting milestones
   2. Create action steps with time frames and deadlines
   3. Determine how to keep track of how well you are doing in meeting these goals
10. Create 2 affirmations for each goal to incorporate into a daily practice for supporting intentions
    1. Affirmations are succinct, declarative statements about your process, behavior, and ability to achieve goals that positively reinforce your intentions
    2. Avoid self-hating thoughts and behavior especially if action steps encounter barriers
    3. Love yourself

Notre Dame Lawsuit filed against Federal Health Care Mandate

A brief summary of the timeline following this suit

University of ND files a lawsuit against federal govt…read more here:

“Our abiding concern in both the original filing of May 21, 2012, and this re-filing has been Notre Dame’s freedom — and indeed the freedom of many religious organizations in this country — to live out a religious mission,” Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C., Notre Dame’s president, said. “We have sought neither to prevent women from having access to services, nor even to prevent the government from providing them.” 

Federal Court denies suit…read more here: 

"In Friday’s strongly worded and highly critical decision, District Judge Philip Simon, a George W. Bush appointee, wrote that it is Notre Dame’s prerogative to object to providing contraceptives on religious grounds. “But,” he added, “the law provides religious employers like Notre Dame an out by allowing it to file a certification saying it refuses to provide such services.”"

Notre Dame appeals to the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals in Chicago and 3 students step forward to intervene…read more here: 

"Three students who say the University of Notre Dame should include contraception in its health care coverage are seeking to intervene in their school’s lawsuit challenging the federal government’s birth-control mandate."


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As an alumna of Notre Dame and first hand observer of the hypocrisy of moral standard that is endemic to the institution, I want to whole-heartedly express my support for the intervention of the school's challenge to the contraception mandate. I applaud the audacity shown by these three students willing to stand with their convictions against the course of action taken by their University.

It appalls me that the institution sites the freedom to live its mission as its key argument against the federal mandate while consistently demanding burden of proof from victims of sexual assault crimes on its campus.  It further appalls me that campus police offer courses for women teaching defense against sexual assault but don't offer courses on teaching men 'not to rape.' If the freedom to live its mission includes the acceptance of sexual deviance from its male population whiles sustaining a rape culture of cover-ups and denial, then the validity of its claim to exemption from the federal healthcare law should be severely scrutinized under the context from which the claim is made.  

I understand that the issue of contraception and sexual assault in the case of this legal appeal is considered mutually exclusive; however in my opinion and from my experience both issues are indicative of the institution's legacy of denying women's civil rights on their campus.