Key Commands

I’m all about key commands. Sit. Stay. Lie down. I’m all over those. They serve a mutually beneficial purpose for both parties. Its those second tier commands…roll over. Shake? Or even third tier stuff, like dance. I will happily sit in front of you, I can see you perfectly when I’m sitting directly in front of you. No chance of sudden moves. Stay? Oh no problem. I’ll stay right here…in front of you. Like I said, no chance of any sudden movement.

I’m contained in a table top design. Four legs and supine spine. You have two legs and are all the shiftier for it. I got kicked from behind by a 2-legged boy. I’m what you call one of those small dogs that is often mistaken for an American football. Small dog alerts apply to me during windy days. So yes, I’ll sit and stay and make sure you have no plans to rear up behind me to catapult my ass anywhere.

I look you directly in the eye when we key command. I’m looking for your heart. It usually doesn’t take long, I’m looking you in the eye and there it is right there happy to say hello. Then you smile. You pet me on the head and scratch my neck, sitting and staying…in front of you. When we’re at that point, I’m fairly certain you will not be planning a sudden move to punt me through the house. Survived another round.

I lie down, too. On one condition, I have to be on top of you. If you’re sitting, I hop up and splay luxuriously across your lap, essentially I pin you down like a stealthy Olympic wrestler. If you’re standing, I lie on your feet like so many other stalwart peace warriors before me at their oppressors’ feet. I lie down with honor and in deference for all those small dogs that are, quite literally, the butt of 2-leggeds’ jokes.

Key commands serve a mutually beneficial purpose, that’s why I’m eager to do them! Now…roll over? Let me think about that…I will roll on my back, with my belly and private parts exposed for as long as it takes me to roll to the other side to my upright table top position. Are you kidding? Reckless. Not going to happen.

I don’t even want to think of the limitless potential for recklessness that ‘shaking hands’ and ‘dancing’ with 2 leggeds will expose me to.